"Of course you don't, sweetie. You're brand new"

Reincarnation is a funny thing; I don’t really understand the concept or the specifics of its function. Reincarnation has been pretty prevalent in our society and media lately…examples include the following…

a. Phoebe on Friends was a huge supporter of reincarnation (she even had the ability to remember her former lives as an army nurse during the Civil War, WWI, and WWII)

b. Britney Spears’ Every time video was about her dying and being reborn (however, this was definitely during the time where she was struggling through the crazy, but she is back now and that is a whole other topic on its own).

I do not think that reincarnation is something I actually believe in, but recently I was inspired to ponder the idea of what type of person I would like to be if I were granted a second life (or maybe it is my 5th, who really knows).

I have generated your basic top ten list of possibilities, starting with number Ten

10.Tina Turner – mainly so I can wear the gold dress and sing Proud Mary.

9. The Green M&M – she must get in to the best parties.

8. Vigilante Justice Officer – making a big deal out of small crimes, my specialty would be in Etiquette.

7. The Pope – so I could use all the “stuff” in the Vatican (meaning jewelry, gold, etc) and solve world hunger. Yes, it could be done.

6.Mockingbird – First I would automatically be famous because of the Book To Kill A Mockingbird AND because my whole reason for existence would be to “Mock” other birds and push their buttons, I basically do that now but it isn’t quite as warranted.

5. Shoulder Angel – I would be someone’s conscience and lead them in the direction of making positive, society benefitting decisions. I would wear a white robe, Jerusalem cruisers, a halo and I would play the harp and could melt one with my melodies.

4. Professional Ice Dancer – Why not? However, I would skate to awesome music.

3. Wilderness Expert - I would be able to survive under any condition, live in a tent and eat bugs. I could construct a boat out of a piece of string and a toothbrush.

2. Blue dot in the Dot Races – It has been statiscally proven that the blue dot has the highest Win percentage out of all the dots, so naturally I would want to be that one.

And for my number 1 choice …

I have decided that if I could come back as anybody I would like to be a…

1. Full-Figured Southern Black Woman who’s occupation was a Back up Singer and I would rock Solos at my church on Sundays.

The following requirements would also be imperative to fulfill my dream

I would have spiral curly hair
long acrylic finger nails.

I would require that all of my back-up singing attire had fringe on it so I could be like Tina Turner.

On Sunday I would always wear a big hat to church.

I do not think that I need to justify my decision on this because I think most would agree that this would be awesome!

Shop til You Drop…Off the Face of the Earth

By: Heather Ammann


This is going to be my first contribution toward the aforementioned “document” which we have come up with as a result of countless encounters with stupid, life-ruining people. Although Audrey has stated that we do not want to comment heavily on this topic, as not to ruin it for our fans, some of the posts from this blog may actually resurface word for word in said “document.” So, for all you die hard Crazies fans, beware…

*SPOILER ALERT*

Now, back to the topic, “I hate people.” I have said it before and I will say it again. It may sound harsh to some, but I personally feel that it is quite fair. People are the dominant species on this planet and we have infinite potential as living beings, yet I continually witness individuals around me who can not seem to get it together. Now, this could easily branch off into a discussion about the environment and how it is our duty to reverse the damage that we have done, but I will save that for a rainy day. I am here today to talk about Shopping Etiquette 101. I know, I know, it sounds trivial compared to saving the planet, but nonetheless it is important to the Crazies.

Some of you may be aware that until I got into education I worked for about a year and a half in the retail industry. I worked a little over a year at Ann Taylor Loft and for about 4 months at The Limited. It is because of these horrifying experiences that I have compiled the following list of rules for ALL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET to follow (if they possibly can…I do not think decency is too much to ask for).

#1 When you enter a store and are greeted by a friendly sales-associate it would be nice of you to acknowledge that person in return. That person, the friendly sales-associate, is there to make you feel welcome in the store so that you might enjoy your shopping adventures. It is very rude to ignore someone when they are talking to you, which is something that we all should have learned when we were 6. Needless to say, grown women, pushing strollers through malls everywhere, are purposely ignoring friendly sales-associates near you…thus turning them into “snobby” sales associates. If you want nice sales associates don’t start the “snob” chain-reaction in the first place.

#2 When you are browsing through racks of neatly hanging garments, and tables topped with nicely folded stacks of attire, consider for a moment, if you will, that those clothes did not hang and fold themselves. Yes, there is actually a person, who gets paid next to nothing, to stand in high heels for 4 hours at a time while folding each individual sweater, and hanging every single pair of pants. Question: Have you ever had a sales associate come up to you, as you are wreaking havoc on the store, and ask, “Can I help you find your size?” You may have wondered to yourself why they think you need help and replied, “No, thanks…I can do it myself.” Here’s a little clue…that person WANTS to help you because it will save them from having to re-fold everything you touch. Little did you know that you were building enemies with each swipe of your reckless little hand.

#3 If you decide to swing by the mall in a time crunch to make a last minute purchase, and find yourself frustrated because you end up waiting in line at the register, GET OVER YOURSELF. It is not the store’s fault that you procrastinated, or that there are other people in this world who shop. There will inevitably be lines at the mall, especially on the weekends. Rolling your eyes and sighing as you stare at your watch does not make the line move any faster. And no, you cannot cut in line (waiting your turn is another thing you should have learned at 6). On that note, being rude to the sales person at check-out is not going to magically turn back time. In fact as soon as you leave you can guarantee that you will be talked about and laughed at for thinking that kind of behavior is okay.

The final, and perhaps most important rule…

#4 Just because you are at the mall and are preoccupied with shopping, that does not mean that you no longer have to monitor your children. The mall is a public place and therefore all parents need to keep their crazy kids under control. I know this kind of sounds like a given, you might be thinking, “Duh, everyone knows that.” But the truth is even the best parents seem to lose control upon entering the mall. It’s like the black hole for parenting skills. Kids are running around covered in ice-cream, screaming, messing up the clothes, playing with the mannequins, getting under the tables, sliding across the floor (seen it), posing in the windows (yep), skating all over the place with their weird shoes-with-wheels…you name it. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad are over picking out clothes like they came by themselves, completely oblivious to all the mayhem. Parents, this is completely unacceptable. If I have just described you or your children, shame on you. From now on it will make life much easier for others if you will just do all your shopping online. Seriously.

#5 Remember these rules if you don’t want to be hated.

(Don’t fault me for being harsh. I’m just telling you what you should already know.)

"SIT DOWN BUS DRIVER!!!"

Preface –

The entry for today will consist of 3 sections, all of which have a common theme. I just wanted the readers to know in case there was some confusion about the direction in which this particular blog was going. Read it as 3 separate submissions if you will.




Part 1 of 3 -


During my years at Texas A&M University I was a Transit Operator, which is a fancy title for “Bus Driver,” similar to when people use the phrases “vertically challenged” in reference to short individuals or “sanitation consultant” to describe one that cleans toilets. But yes I was a bus driver, I obtained and secured a Commercial Driver’s License, and no I do not still have one, so don’t get any ideas. I drove for the University and transported students on-campus, off-campus and on occasion chartered certain groups to specific destinations. Being a transit operator was a lucrative student job that provided well for me and I can say that I enjoyed my experience with transportation services. After dominating the routes and perfecting my bus driving skills I was promoted to a training position and was responsible for those aspiring to become transit operators themselves. My time on the routes had become very rare and the majority of my work was split between training and driving the para-transit vans (these were specifically for those who required special accommodations due to physical or mental conditions; I met some pretty extraordinary students and professors on these days). Sometimes, I would even pick up Kendall in my mini van from class and even though we jokingly accuse her of riding the short bus, for these instances she just happened to be at the right place at the right time. However, I can only imagine what people must have thought of Kendall as they were traveling to their next class in the most trafficked area of main campus…







One of my most rewarding experiences as a bus driver was when Texas A&M sent 10 busses down to San Antonio to aid with Hurricane Katrina Relief. A group of fellow drivers and myself left College Station at Midnight and went to Kelly Air Force base to help with refugees who were arriving by plane coming from the Superdome in New Orleans. It was a long trip with very little sleep, but definitely worth it! And although I have retired from being a Transit Operator, I still on occasion sport the Transportation Services Polo and relive the good ol’ days!



Bus Riding Etiquette 101 – Part 2 of 3 –


This next section is dedicated to a cause we all feel strongly about and that is Etiquette…this may be present in a future document which I cannot comment on too heavily since it is still in its beginning stages and I do not wish to ruin it for our fans… However, I feel it necessary and appropriate at this time to educate society on what is acceptable and unacceptable bus occupant behavior…



Bus is approaching a stop –


Occupants inside the bus who are wishing to exit should remain in their seats, the full stop of the bus has the ability to propel one forward in the standing position (Read up on Newton’s laws, I think these may be fitting, if not disregard).
Occupants outside the bus…do not crowd the doors, let the people on the bus get off, the bus driver will not leave you if you are already standing at the stop. They are required to have perfect vision and if one does not they are require to wear corrective lenses. And if that isn’t enough, if the requirement for corrective lenses is indeed needed then said individual is also required to supply a back up set of corrective lenses. So needless to say; THEY SEE YOU.
Those approaching the stop wanting to ride…do not continue to mosey along up to the stop, the driver will not wait if you do not show haste, plus it is just rude to the other riders, we are on a schedule and no it isn’t your schedule. “If you run you ride, you walk you wait”




While Riding the Bus –


Do not ask the driver how soon they are going to leave, they will leave when it is time to leave
Do not throw your stuff around and take up multiple seats, the bus is not your room at home
Follow the rules that are prominently displayed throughout the inside of the cabin…if it says stand behind the yellow line, stand behind the yellow line. If it says do not stand in the stairwell, do not stand in the stairwell…pretty simple. Just like if there was a sign in front of an entrance to a pond that stated “Do not Swim in Pond due to Hazardous chemical spill and oversized man-eating piranhas” you wouldn’t swan dive in, I didn’t think so.



Do not let out an obnoxiously exaggerated sigh when the bus is at Red Lights, stuck behind traffic, waiting for pedestrians to cross (this brings me to another point, if you are a pedestrian, don’t walk in front of the bus at a non-designated cross-walk, seriously), or stuck at a railroad crossing…there is nothing you or the driver can do about it.



If you get on the bus at a “stop and go stop” and the bus is primarily empty, if you enter in the doors by the driver, do not walk all the way to the back of the bus, this takes a lot longer than one may think, especially when you are the driver having to wait to take off from the stop to keep from propelling your face into the back seat.



Finally and probably the most important rule…do not talk on your cell phone in the bus the reasons are two fold…
1. It is annoying, no one cares about what grade you got, who Johnny kissed the night before, or what you are going to wear to the party that night.
2. It is annoying, there is a lot of noise on the bus and this requires you to speak loudly because you can’t hear them speak you think they can’t hear you. Yelling about how Karen wet the bed is TMI for other occupants plus I don’t think Karen will appreciate it either.



“Lindsey has a life size cut out of Homer Simpson”

– Part 3 of 3 –




So far in this entry, which has become quite lengthy, I apologize for the novel it has quickly turned into; I have discussed my experience as a bus driver and bus riding etiquette. This final part’s relevance is tied to the hours of operation a transit operator such as myself experienced. I preferred to get my routes over with in the morning and then attend class, therefore I would usually work a first shift, and these shifts began around 6AM. Needless to say I was up pretty early in the morning and always before my lovely roommates (at this time who were Kendall and Lindsey). Also, due to my early rise I was usually pretty early to bed as well. One night as I was deep in slumber Kendall and Lindsey who were still awake, obviously very bored, decided to cause mischief which would directly affect me...



Here is my story…



It was 5AM Wednesday morning, it was spring and before daylight savings time so it was still dark outside. I had to be at work by 5:45 that morning and had a 15minute drive to campus from our duplex. As always in attempt to maximize sleep I was running late. I had allotted myself with just enough time to brush my teeth and put on my usual “I don’t have to think too much about this” transportation services representative outfit which consisted of jeans, close toed shoes (these are required) and my transportation services polo. Don’t worry I had showered the night before and I wore deodorant. So I gathered the necessary materials I needed for the day, I grabbed the keys to my Explorer and was ready to head out. The door to my room opened inward so while opening the door I was turning off my lights because energy conservation is very important to me and to my surprise there is Homer all up in my face (remember in our first blog entry I mentioned how Lindsey owned a life size cardboard cut out of Homer Simpson). At 5:30 in the morning, when it is dark and you are half awake and open the door to a giant Homer a lot of things go through your mind. First you panic because you have yet to realize that it is just a card board version of Homer in front of you and not the evil individual who has broken into your duplex to rob and murder you. Second, you hope that you did not just pee in your pants due to fright because you don’t have another clean pair of jeans or enough time to change because you are already late for work. Third, you think about how much you dislike your roommates whom you can hear snickering in their beds after hearing you yell out of fright. After I came too and got over the initial shock of Homer standing in my door way, I punched him in the face, stepped over him and verbalized the statement of “Not Funny Guys” loud enough for them to hear, knowing they were awake and scared, if only they knew what my inner monologue was yelling…

4:30 or so that afternoon rolls around and I get a call from Lindsey Steckel, having forgotten the incident from the morning I answered with my normal answer, “Hey Hoe.” A timid Steckel on the other end responds with “hey, do you hate us?” Apparently Kendall and Lindsey were both on their way to the rec-center where they were lifeguards and Kendall, to chicken to do it herself, made Lindsey call me. In the end we all laugh about what had happened that morning, them more so than me, they got the extra laughs in that morning. Homer however was never the same due to the face disfiguration from the punch to the nose. I feel bad he had to suffer because of immaturity and practical joking; we all know he had no control over his whereabouts that morning. We could all learn from this experience.

Black Thursday

Let me take you back to a time when I was crazy….It was my third year of college and I was infatuated with this boy. Let’s call him “Ryan”. He was a swimmer and as I was a lifeguard (how cute); I’ve seen more of Ryan than I have of most people-Speedos leave little to the imagination. From the first time I saw him I had the biggest crush on him…and guess who shows up in my Spanish class which met FIVE DAYS A WEEK? Ryan! And his equally crazy (in a different way) friend, let’s call him “Joe”. We hit it off from the beginning and before I knew it, we were hanging out; what can I say, I have a special knack for “getting in there”. Every day after class we would go sit in our “secret” place and chat, read, study, share stories and music… the types of things people do when they’re MFEO.

After a while, I felt it necessary to introduce Kendall to both Ryan and Joe. She is an important part of my life and I felt that they (I didn’t want to omit Joe, but really, my focus was RyRy) were climbing in importance every day. They had all heard so much about one another and it was the natural progression of our relationship. The four of us had great times together; always laughing and making fun of each other, among other things. One day, Ryan and I were involved in witty banter and I was eating a bag of grapes whilst he ate his cheetos (we always ate our home-brought snacks together. Again, how cute). I asked him for a Cheeto and he made a snarky comment but then threw one my way, a clear sign that he loved me. A few minutes later he asked me for a grape. I, being so mature, responded in jest and then decided to give him one. [Sidebar: It should be noted that there was a white wall behind Ryan’s perfect head, and this was my target. And also noted that I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if I was standing two feet in front of it]. I hurled the grape at him, closing in on the 90-95 mph range, fully intending to hit the wall space above his head. Rather than hitting my target, I pelted the love of my life in the eye. With a near frozen grape. I could see our relationship slipping through my fingers at that very moment. I profusely apologized and tried to convince him that I really hadn’t meant to do that; I then sat back in my chair with a sheepish look on my face for the remainder of our time. Shortly after, Joe asked me for a grape and then did a “duck and cover” using his backpack as a shield. Little did I know that our relationship was doomed from that moment. After that Thursday, Ryan no longer came to hang out after class; we no longer spoke, barely even made eye contact. No more music recommendations (until a year and a half later…see my profile and the comment about the Explosions in the Sky vinyl record), no book-sharing, nothing. I was vapor to him.

After the wounds healed (mine, not his) I was able to look back with fondness of our times and even deemed the moment that our relationship changed forever. This is how Black Thursday came into being; the Thursday that changed my life forever. Thank God Kendall and Joe were there as witnesses; no one would ever believe that I massacred, and subsequently ended my love, via a grape.

Another Crazy in the Group

Heather Ammann is a 24 year old, but is not a single white female…sorry boys, she is engaged. She will be getting married next December after her fiancé Tyler finishes school!

Heather actually went to Mississippi State in Starksville, Mississippi where she played Soccer. She is currently pursuing a career in teaching and has fulfilled the requirements for her Alternative Certification. Heather has always been deemed the "Crazy" of the group and her Verbal Barrier is pretty close to being non-existent. She loves animals and is an active member of PETA (or at least she receives daily emails from the organization), in fact, it has been confirmed that in case of a fire Heather wouldn’t hesitate to save her cat Buddy before any one of us. I can’t make this stuff up, that is straight from the horse’s mouth. "Straight from the horse’s mouth" is a form of expression and is in no way me calling Heather a horse, in case some of you were confused. However, based on Heather’s love for animals and because she used to competitively ride horses the expression is quite appropriate. I apologize for the tangent. Heather is the last remaining blonde of the group, meaning she actually has blonde hair it has nothing to do with her inability to understand witty jokes and, furthermore, a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool would not lead her to her death. Heather will fulfill any dare like a champ and usually the least afraid about what others will think of her…however if we ever get caught and kicked out of the movies for using the electronic ticket purchasing unit to buy movie tickets at the discounted Child price instead of the required Adult price it will be Heather’s fault.

Entering the blogosphere

Blogging has always been a foreign concept to me, I didn't understand the idea and how it was so highly accepted by the greater part of society. Therefore I always strayed from participating in all forms of the word. Recently our close circle of friends was inspired by the world that is Blogging and has decided to form a "Group Blog" While the main purpose of this blog is to share our Crazy notions amongst ourselves we hope that it could potentially be enjoyed by others

You may be wondering about the title we have chosen, not conventional I know and a tad verbose, but we believe that after a few entries the inspiration in which it was derived will be easily explained. It is a quote from the TV Show "FRIENDS," Joey delivers the line in Season 4 the episode, "the one with the jellyfish", when Monica, Chandler and Joey are explaining the awkward and embarrassing situation they encountered while at the Beach. We happened to pop in this episode while waiting for the season premier of Gossip Girl to begin, followed by the second episode form the new season of The Hills...don't judge us.

I guess we should take this time to make some introductions so you can get a glimpse of the direction in which this blog could go. The main bloggers you will encounter, in no particular order, will be myself, Audrey Bass(like the fish), Lindsey Steckel, and Kendall Vinson. Throughout the duration of this blog, guest bloggers could include but are not limited to, Anna Ferris, Heather Ammann, and Hollie Oden. Kendall and Lindsey will have free reign to make any amendments necessary to the following profiles...

Blogger Profiles

I will begin with myself...I am a day into being 25 years of age, single white female (always wanted to put that into written form on a document viewed by others). Graduated from Texas A&M University, December of 2006 with a Bachelors in Business Marketing and Minor in Communications. You can always count on me for a sarcastic one liner, Anna brings out the best in me, she will attest to it. I attend the Village Church with Matt Chandler. I am the proud owner of a 4 month old German Sheppard Puppy named Layla. I drive a Saab sport Combi (better known as a Station Wagon) with a Thule bike rack, which I logically manipulated my work to install for me for promotional purposes. I enjoy road biking and mountain biking and am contemplating taking up Kayaking. Along with Lindsey, we are currently in training for the Rock N'Roll Half Marathon in San Antonio, Tx. I record and watch "All My Children" everyday. Currently reading "Can You Keep A Secret" by Sophia Kinsella, and digging into the book of Colossians.

Lindsey is 24 years old, also a SWF! Graduated from Texas A&M University, December of 2006 with a Bachelors in Communications and Minor in Business. She is a consultant with BearingPoint in the oil and gas industry and she travels quite a bit for work so is usually out of town during the week, but lucky for us she is racking up tons of airline miles and hotel points for the future. Lindsey is the heavy reader of the group and you can usually count on her to be reading 2 to 3 books at a time, but she always has great recommendations. She single handedly put us all on to The Office. Lindsey tells the greatest stories, the kinds that never get old, or less humorous. She owns a life size cut out of Homer Simpson and an actual Vinyl Album of Explosions in the Sky. A great thing about Lindsey is that she always brings an educated opinion to the table about everything. Lindsey attends Prestonwood Baptist Church. Hopefully soon Lindsey will acquire a Road Bike so I will no longer have to ride alone and based off recent events I believe Lindsey will not be joining me in the Kayaking venture.

Kendall is 24 years old (but will soon be joining me in the Quarter Century Club), and you guessed it, SWF!

Sidebar: maybe this blog will help us to determine the reason for the abbreviation SWF...

Back to Kendall, she too graduated from Texas A&M University, December of 2006 with a Bachelors in Communications and Minor in Business, she went on to earn her Masters in Education from Texas A&M as well. She is a Junior High Speech Teacher/Coach at our Junior High Alma Mater. We have begun to notice a slight drop in maturity the more she is at school. Kendall also attends the Village Church. Kendall is a Live Music Seeker and always coordinates the ticket acquiring for great concerts. In her younger days she was known for her ability to track down the bands and stalk them at hotels/tour buses. Famous encounters include JC Chasez from the band N'SYNC, and the bands Our Lady Peace and Default, she can credit most of these stalker episodes to her older and possibly crazier sister Summer. Kendall is the best about finding the most addictive TV shows in the lineup and gets us all hooked. She is the most morally sound of the group and acts as our conscience a lot of the times. Kendall comes up with a lot of the Crazy ideas for the group and her favorite restaurant is Taco Bueno (she is a true Bueno head). She is a leader for Young Life in Carrollton and in her spare time enjoys writing Rap songs. Kendall's boyfriend Johnny was recently relocated to Thailand.