Friday, October 17, 2008

"Of course you don't, sweetie. You're brand new"

Reincarnation is a funny thing; I don’t really understand the concept or the specifics of its function. Reincarnation has been pretty prevalent in our society and media lately…examples include the following…

a. Phoebe on Friends was a huge supporter of reincarnation (she even had the ability to remember her former lives as an army nurse during the Civil War, WWI, and WWII)

b. Britney Spears’ Every time video was about her dying and being reborn (however, this was definitely during the time where she was struggling through the crazy, but she is back now and that is a whole other topic on its own).

I do not think that reincarnation is something I actually believe in, but recently I was inspired to ponder the idea of what type of person I would like to be if I were granted a second life (or maybe it is my 5th, who really knows).

I have generated your basic top ten list of possibilities, starting with number Ten

10.Tina Turner – mainly so I can wear the gold dress and sing Proud Mary.

9. The Green M&M – she must get in to the best parties.

8. Vigilante Justice Officer – making a big deal out of small crimes, my specialty would be in Etiquette.

7. The Pope – so I could use all the “stuff” in the Vatican (meaning jewelry, gold, etc) and solve world hunger. Yes, it could be done.

6.Mockingbird – First I would automatically be famous because of the Book To Kill A Mockingbird AND because my whole reason for existence would be to “Mock” other birds and push their buttons, I basically do that now but it isn’t quite as warranted.

5. Shoulder Angel – I would be someone’s conscience and lead them in the direction of making positive, society benefitting decisions. I would wear a white robe, Jerusalem cruisers, a halo and I would play the harp and could melt one with my melodies.

4. Professional Ice Dancer – Why not? However, I would skate to awesome music.

3. Wilderness Expert - I would be able to survive under any condition, live in a tent and eat bugs. I could construct a boat out of a piece of string and a toothbrush.

2. Blue dot in the Dot Races – It has been statiscally proven that the blue dot has the highest Win percentage out of all the dots, so naturally I would want to be that one.

And for my number 1 choice …

I have decided that if I could come back as anybody I would like to be a…

1. Full-Figured Southern Black Woman who’s occupation was a Back up Singer and I would rock Solos at my church on Sundays.

The following requirements would also be imperative to fulfill my dream

I would have spiral curly hair
long acrylic finger nails.

I would require that all of my back-up singing attire had fringe on it so I could be like Tina Turner.

On Sunday I would always wear a big hat to church.

I do not think that I need to justify my decision on this because I think most would agree that this would be awesome!


Summer said...

Audrey thinks of weird things.

Just Call Me Annie said...

I KNEW this was Audrey's posting right off the bat from the Tina Turner obsession. Remember when you stood up in the middle of the Limo at Christie's bachelorette and did the "Tina Turner"?? nice, Audge!